Lost and Damned
by thelostamaranth
Summary: Sometimes the stories worth while doesn't end with you winning, but the fact that you stood up for what you wanted can make it better than a happy ending...
1. Chapter 1  The Awakening

_It's been a while since I've messed with this story, I uploaded the first chapter and then life decided to flick the finger at me and have me unable to finish it. However, I have found my way back and will set to finishing this project since it is something that is dear to me. Please review and I will set to bringing up chapter two as soon as possible._

_Allons-y!_

* * *

It had taken years to gain the reward she wanted. Friends and enemies alike had been made and equally they had died by either natural or brutal means. Countless battles for the good of mankind against warlords, gods, and the like were fought and defeated but never was the final prize within reach. Always was it hanging just at the tips of her fingers like wisps of smoke. Until finally, a discovery was made that she knew she could not pass up. It was what she wanted ever since the darkness failed to have complete control of her anymore. The sacrifice was well enough: denying the temptation to be brought back to life again and spend the rest of her mortal life with her soul mate to save the thousands that had died because of a decision she made. An accident, but a consequence all the same. A final act to bring about the redemption she had sought after for so many years; a trade that would ease the burden off her shoulders in similarity to Atlas carrying the weight of the heavens. Being soul mates, wouldn't reincarnation occur like they had been told and eventually meet again? However, as Atlas was deceived and made to bear his punishment again the death of a mighty warrior seemed to have fallen upon a similar path. The ache of guilt clutched her heart; the screams of countless people rang in her ears, the yearning to be held by a loved one continued to gnaw at her until she fell to her knees in weakness and confusion. This was not what she had expected to be part of the deal.

In fact, none of this was what she was expecting. Blue eyes were forced open in order to gain a look at her surroundings. Whether her eyes were closed or not seemed to make no difference for darkness enveloped her either way. The screaming never stopped, though, and the raven haired woman tried in vain to cancel them out with her hands. She even bellowed out a yell herself to tell them to silence but to no avail. These cries were those of torment and suffering and they would_ never_ end. Whatever happened to redemption? Was this a final test? A final punishment? Not that she would have not gladly (in a supposed masochistic fashion as said by previous blonde acquaintance) received and endured it; the failure of warning was what caught her off guard and perplexed the fallen warrior. She called out again, this time questioning the whereabouts of the one who told her that this would be for the 'greater good'.

And still, there was no word. Of course, not counting the strangled yelps for help coming from unidentified sources. Knowing that the situation was not going to get any better by just clutching her ears and hoping things would grow quiet, the tall Greek stood with her hands still blocking out a fragment of the noise and slowly shuffled forward in the dark. Feet came in contact with peculiar items here and there and once she could have sworn something had scurried past and brushed with rough, soaked fur against her leg. What was this place, for the love of any gods that still existed?

Then, something grabbed a hold of her shoulder but the contact was not entirely noticed for just then the voices disappeared. The ringing in her skull did not, however, extending the duration of the oblivious state until she felt something warm still gripping her causing the woman to nearly fall from the momentum of the spin she did to try and see who had dared to lay a finger upon her. It was far from the usual grace she carried but that was a worry for another time. Suddenly, and liked she might have remembered Eli so many years ago utter about his heaven dwelling god, there was light that descended upon the darkness. Not bright or magnificent like the flashy angels, but indeed enough to force her to close her eyes from the sudden pain of having to adjust. Rubbing her eyes and counting to ten, she opened them slowly again and saw a woman standing nonchalantly about five paces in front of her now. The slender figure seemed bored, looking around the dank and dark environment like she might have when inspecting a sloppy soldier's tent. She was unrecognizable whoever she was, with short black hair and mischievous green eyes.

Green eyes…  
A flash went through head as a memory slammed against her skull causing her to drop to one knee unexpectedly. Trees…the smell of salt…someone laughing and smiling but speaking gibberish. Or perhaps she had lost the ability to understand anything. The face…by the gods it made her want to utter a cry. It was so familiar, it stirred such a flame within her very soul and yet she was unable to put a name to it. She relished the sight and the voice and could see the stranger writing while she spoke, sometimes even bringing the quill up to gently brush the blonde's face while she thought of what to put down on the parchment next. It was as if she was noticing for the first time how extraordinary this scene was until everything went dark again and all the brunette could see was the peculiar woman.

"Having fun here?" The silken voice questioned, green eyes giving an amused look.

"A fantastic time, actually... Now can you tell me what 'here' is? Or better yet, who you are?" Her own voice was scratchy as if sick and it pained her. Holding a hand to her throat she felt an odd scar around her neck, as if he throat had been scratched with a knife.

"You'll have some discomfort in talking or swallowing for a bit. Comes with the whole head being lopped off." The woman said as she reached over to a wall and touched it, examined her fingers, then flicked the dust off. After seeing a perplexed look aimed her way she sighed. "Right now, you are in a pretty shitty place. I guess you were expecting some sort of Elysian Fields?"

"Expecting, yes. I thought I redeemed myself. Wasn't that the whole purpose of my death?" Feeling more confident that she wouldn't receive another flash of memory, she stood up fully. Laughter met her ears and she cringed, still sensitive to loud noise after all the screaming.

"Honey, you don't even _remember_ how you died. I saw how you looked at me when I mentioned your decapitation. How could you have been redeemed? Besides, if this is your version of heaven then you are pretty screwed up. Tell me, do you even remember your name?" The woman walked up to her, much closer than she liked and completely invaded her personal space. The warrior backed up while trying to come up with answers for this woman but realized she had none. No, she didn't know she died by having her head cut off. All she knew was that she had died to save souls she had killed…and that it took her a lot of pain and grief to get to this place. And by the gods, what in Tartarus _was_ her name?

"Xena, darling. It's Xena." Came with answer with an exasperated sigh. "It looks like the blood was gone from your brain a little bit _too_ long. Looks like I won't be able to have any fun until you start getting those memories back. Now let's see…what would be the best way…and where to start, hmm? Tell me, what's the first thing you remember?" The short haired woman tapped Xena on the head, causing the tall woman to growl in irritation.

"What I do remember is the fact you still have failed to give me a name."

"Oh, how rude of me, eh? Iva. Pleasure to meet the famed Warrior Princess."

"Warrior Princess? You're kidding me, right?" Xena asked, looking at her incredulously. More laughter emanated from Iva.

"My, my. You have a lot to remember, Princess. Come on, let's get started on the story of your life. I'm sure you want to remember everything right?"

"I'd actually like to know why I'm here."

"All in due time, Princess. First you need to recover your memories to fully understand why you are here. If I explained everything now you'd just be asking more and more questions and not believing anything I told you after a certain point despite anything I say being the truth. To avoid that frustration, let's just get that old thinker of yours working right."

"And what's your interest in me?" Xena watched Iva warily, the shorter woman walking slowly around her.

"As said before, all in due time. Now, I'm pretty sure you were curious as to where you were. I was right in saying it's a shitty place, why don't I give you a partial tour?" A grin was flashed and Xena grew a bit unnerved by it but felt a slender hand grab her wrist and pull her into the darkness. "Oh come on, Princess, stop giving me that look. Would you rather go with me or hear that beautiful chorus you were trying to block out earlier? There, that's a better face."

Without another word Iva left, the dim light following her. Now that Xena had a chance to examine it, it was like a grey flame that followed the woman and light up her path which was probably convenient but made the raven haired fighter wonder if that was from Iva's own abilities or a useful item born of this world. Deciding that her questions wouldn't be answered to full satisfaction, she merely followed quickly. Looking about now that she had a chance, she could see that she was in some type of dungeon like setting: broken stone walls and dirt covered floors along with a chill of the earth. Though if she had been decapitated she very much doubted she was anywhere on Gaia. Bringing her fingers to brush along her neck again, she was highly curious as to how that even happened. Surely not willingly…was it? She knew she died for redemption but she kind of expected to have died by a sword going through her or at the very least arrows. Her warrior self wanted some heroic type of death, but for the sake of saving others decapitation would have had to do. But this wasn't redemption, not at all, so she allowed anger to seep in and ponder on who exactly had the audacity to kill her like that. To take her away from all that she loved, who she loved…Xena's blue eyes looked down in shame. She couldn't even remember who it was she loved. It was love, right? Every time she thought of that blonde scribe or whoever she was her heart began to burn something fierce and she ached to just say one word to her.

Realizing that wallowing in her progressively growing pity party wasn't going to help her discovery any more than staying in that screaming room was, she paid attention again to where they were going. Iva in the meantime had still did not say anything, seemingly more concerned with their destination. More light was coming from the end of the tunnel, a copper-like hue compared to the ball of light that led the pair. As Xena and Iva came closer and closer to this exit, Xena could now examine the walls more closely. No, these weren't just stone walls, but stone with the occasional body protruding from it. Some faces looked at Xena mournfully, unable to speak while others flailed around trying to grab them. These must have been the beings who were screaming nonstop, and now it looked as if the wall was preventing them all from making a single noise aside from the slapping of hands and feet against stone and floor.

"If you were curious about those souls you were so intent on redeeming, some are here staring at you. Looks rather uncomfortable, don't you think? Poor bastards."

Xena looked at Iva with an eyebrow raised but said nothing. Ah. So her death was meaningless. How nice.

"Alright, you can look at where we are now. Could have hired a better interior decorator but I suppose this could do for now."

Taking her advice, the warrior stepped out from the tunnel finally onto a ledge and was amazed. It looked as if they were in some sort of volcano, with blackened walls rising up on all sides to melt together into the sky and down below tongues of flames yearning to taste the flesh of the women. Xena nearly gasped but kept her composure. Down below on narrow paths odd beasts lumbered past people in a single file line, occasionally pushing a person into the fire and laughing.

"So I take it I'm in Tartarus?" Xena questioned, taking in the scene and then looking over at the shorter-haired woman.

"Not quite. Hades was killed so Tartarus doesn't quite exist anymore. You're in what those who follow Eli like to call 'Hell'. If I had to make a comparison I would say this place is worse. You can't precisely make a deal with the ruler of this place anymore without more strings being attached. Hades watched over the dead, the ruler of this place is more interested in collecting as many souls as possible." Iva explained, and then began to follow a path that led upwards.

"Hades is dead? And who exactly is the ruler of this place?" Xena went through all, and by all that was a fairly small amount, that she could remember to try and recollect what all was being said to her.

"See, this is why I didn't want you asking too many questions before we went through the process of getting your memories back. It just leads to more than I have the patience to answer. I'll at least tell you who rules the place, however. Lucifer. Fantastic name for a cat, by the way." Iva paused and looked back at Xena. "You're quite a different person when you don't remember who you are."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You talk more. I don't think I quite like that." Xena clenched her jaw and refused to respond. "That's better. Come on, Princess."

She knew she wasn't alone. Wherever she was, Xena would be there. Or should have been there. That was what they had promised each other. A tanned hand gripped the chakram tighter than what was safe causing rivulets of ruby to make its way down the circular blade and make a minute puddle in the dirt. Gabrielle brought a hand up to wipe the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. It had been nearly a couple months already and she was just getting to the point of being able to walk through a crowd and not panicking when she saw someone tall with dark hair. It was taking her an even longer time to go through Xena's old things, a chest containing what little the warrior actually owned was still sitting in the corner untouched and covered with a fur blanket. The only item of her lover that she kept in sight was the chakram, a rather useful weapon when she learned how to use it. Releasing her tight hold on the chakram as she finally acknowledged what she was doing, she growled at the cut that was across her palm now and went over to her bedside table. Fresh bandages littered the tabletop in a rather untidy fashion along with a small bowl filled with water. Usually it was just to treat any cuts she received during drilling but occasionally her mind would wander back to the days she spent to the Warrior Princess and the blonde would end up harming herself in one way or the other by not paying attention. Her lack of concern worried those around her though they kept their mouths shut, knowing the sharp comments they would receive in return.

Gabrielle was not quite the…Gabrielle they knew anymore. She occasionally traveled on the road to help others but it was not with the same motivation it once was. The creative and caring young women everyone had grown to love had vanished and all that remained was a puppet playing off of the memories and faux emotions humans are supposed to have but failing miserably to represent them. When she traveled that was when they worried about her the most, and every now and then a pair of Amazons followed secretly for their Queen's safety.

The bard finished wrapping the gauze around her hand and flexed the now sore palm. Looking down at the blade again, she sighed and picked it up. Going to clean it, she heard a soft knock on the door but knew they would come in whether she answered positively or negatively. And indeed she was correct, for a curly blonde head poked into the hut with a lopsided smile.

"Hey, Gab! We were wondering if you wanted to grab breakfast with us before you leave or…" Ephiny hesitated, looking on the bed and already seeing things packed and ready to go, "If you wanted to eat on the road and we would ride with you a bit…" The last portion was more of improvised hopefulness as she stared at the empty shell that was her friend. Gabrielle looked back at Ephiny and gave the usual hollow smile.

"Sure, that would be great. I'll probably just load these on Argo and then we can head out." Gabrielle said softly and went to go get her small bags. Ephiny nodded, holding the door open and grabbing Gabrielle's other weapons that were near the door. A staff that had been carved as a gift to the Queen and a pair of sais, the bard's weapon of choice when she finally got around to wielding blades.

"Gab…" The way her name was said made the bard stop what she was doing and look at her friend. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean-"

"Please don't, Eph. A friend needs my help and that is what I am doing."

"No, you found an opportunity despite Yakut's warnings and you are diving in headfirst. This is foolish, Gabrielle." The Amazon argued, though pursed her lips when Gabrielle slowly turned to look at her. If she had to describe it, it was almost as if Gabrielle was turning into the old Xena. And that thought terrified her.

"Foolish? Is it really so foolish? I mean, really, what else am I supposed to do? Go on like nothing has happened? I _can't_ Ephiny. That was my best friend who had been murdered that day and no one seems to give a damn!" Gabrielle threw her arms up in frustration, a little crack in the once unbreakable mask she had worn since the funeral. Ephiny put the weapons down and place an arm on her Queen.

"_We_ care, Gab. Everyone in this camp does. You can't compare grieving processes and you of all people should know when it comes to deaths we make it a point not to be open about it. But we were never as close to her as you were, no matter how close of a friendship we thought we may have had. And right now we have to look forward and…Gab, we are so scared about what you are going to do…we're afraid you might not come back." Pure emotion was revealed, and Gabrielle had to look away before she lost it. Like she did every night when there was no one there to hold her when she cried or comfort her when she felt lost.

"Please just…let me do this. If…if I'm only successful in helping him then at least I helped someone. It's just…I need to see her. I need to make things right." Green eyes, threatening to spill tears, gazed at Ephiny. The Amazon frowned slightly but hugged her friend all the same.

"And what if you don't see her? And what if you don't see what you want? You should just accept that she's gone. Gab!" Ephiny watched as Gabrielle picked up the weapons as well and stormed past her. The Regent rushed after her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Gab, please. I know how difficult it is. I know what you are going through but you are crossing a line you are going to regret crossing. Do you really think Xena would-"  
A loud smack was heard and Ephiny stopped talking, mostly because the shock that she just got slapped right across the jaw made her mind go blank.

"Don't you dare tell me what Xena would or would not want. She took no effort into thinking about what _I_ wanted. How I would be after all of…this…" Tears started falling down her face as the blonde shook her head. "We were supposed to do this _together_, she never even waited to hear about…about what I-I…" And for the first time since the death of the warrior Gabrielle finally broke down and collapsed onto the floor, not caring if the whole village saw her. Ephiny finally lowered herself onto her knees and took the bard into her arms, whispering into her ear comforting words and feeling tears come to her eyes as well.

"I'm so sorry, Ephiny. I'm so sorry…I just…I need to do this…if I don't…" Ephiny held her tighter, not content with hearing the end of whatever Gabrielle had to say. Her heart was breaking at the sight of her Queen and her best friend falling apart. Waiting until the sniffling was over, she pulled back slowly and looked at her comrade with a sad smile. Without a word they went to pick up her stuff and head towards the stables as what was originally planned. The trek there was unbearable, both walking in pained silence and ignoring the looks the other Amazons were giving. None were negative, but all pleaded for Ephiny to stop Gabrielle, looks of pity, and confusion as to what was happening. They entered the stables, going past steeds who stuck their heads out curious as to what was going on and the pair did not stop until Gabrielle's hand reached out and stroked the soft nose of the familiar palomino. Even the horse looked defeated and depressed, leading Gabrielle to acknowledge that she wasn't the only one grieving. She leaned forward and gave Argo a light kiss before patting the horse's neck and setting her stuff down to get her ready to ride out. Ephiny merely stayed silent and aided in the process, barely looking over her shoulder to see the crowd of Amazons growing a stone throw away.

"Who are you going to see?" Ephiny finally asked when she offered assistance to boost Gabrielle on Argo. Despite not really needing it, Gabrielle accepted the offer and got adjusted to the saddle before replying.

"An old friend from when I was at the Academy. Orpheus. He sent a letter a week ago requesting my help. Please don't tell anyone the details of what I am doing, this is between Yakut, you, and me." It was spoken quietly as she brushed her short blonde hair from her face. Ephiny's hand reached up and Gabrielle grasped it, giving the warrior's handshake. The regent smiled weakly one last time at her and then let go.

"Be safe, Gab. We all love you. Please remember that." Ephiny said, the emotions raw in her voice. Gabrielle did not say a word and clicked her tongue. Argo took the cue and left the stables as fast as she could, the Amazons scattering away to avoid getting run over by the old war horse.

Upwards they traveled, past shades, past the tortured and chained and crying souls who found themselves in a land they could never escape. Xena felt for them, almost wishing there was something she could do to help but didn't let this show in front of Iva, whoever she might be. Finding herself in this place, Xena was growing cautious as to whether she could really trust this woman but in the meantime she didn't see any other choice. It was either follow and see what was going to happen or wander aimlessly through this 'Hell'. In all honesty, Xena wasn't too thrilled about meeting up face to face with the grotesque creatures that seemed to be the grunts of whoever this Lucifer was. Making sure that she wasn't going to accidently walk off the edge of the cliff, she tried to see exactly what they were. They walked like apes, with small hind legs and large forearms with thick bony structures jutting out from their shoulders and arms. She couldn't see any eyes on them, so their enjoyment out of pushing people was probably to hear their cries of pain and surprise. Stopping suddenly before she ran into Iva, she looked to see what had made the shorter woman stop and saw two of the grunts fighting less than twenty spaces from them. One roared and beat its bloody paws against its chest before it was rammed into the wall by the other. Xena could see the faces better, and she nearly shuddered at the sight. Large fangs came from a human like mouth and tusks that resembled the pincers of an ant ripped at the flesh. A scream of pain was emitted and with a hook of a tusk into the losing grunt's ribs, the winning grunt used all of its force to fling the creature into the flames. The warrior shuddered and didn't feel so much like the killer she knew she was. Suddenly, something cold was shoved against her chest.

"You'd better take this. You can't die, you're already dead, but those tusks still cause a bitch load of pain." Looking down, the blue eyes took in the gift that was a sword. It seemed so similar in design, though the heavily jeweled and decorated hilt was something different she at least knew.

Looking at Iva, Xena asked, "And what about you? More of a hand-to-hand type of girl?"

Iva chuckled. "No, I won't need weapons. They know better than to go after me. You, though…you they may be attracted to. I doubt it's for your looks though."

As if hearing them, the grunt turned its head and growled before charging.

"Well, looks like we'll be having some fun after all before the boring process of remembering. Show me your famed skills, Princess." And with that Iva disappeared, only to reappear behind the grunt with a devilish smile. Glaring, Xena twirled the sword and ran at the beast, flipping over the creature just before it could crash into her but instead of gracefully landing she fell upon the rough floor in an awkward manner and nearly dropped the sword over the edge. Wondering how that error in ability could have happened since she was so sure that was a move she usually made with ease, she stood up quickly and turned around to see the grunt had stopped and turned its head quickly in an attempt to figure out her location by sound and smell. Coming to the conclusion that it could probably pick her scent out above the sulfur and smoke, Xena decided to act quickly. Running towards the beast she swung the sword with all her might and felt the blade slow down some but still continue the journey through the animal's side and stop at the spine. A gargled yelp made the grunt leap forward and fall as ebony colored blood seeped from its wound and it proceeded to drag itself away from the warrior. Easily being able to follow it, she raised her sword to finish it off but felt a hand on her wrist again.

"Ohhh don't do that. Watch what happens. Here, step back quickly." Lowering the sword and backing up slowly, Xena wondered what it was that was going to be shown to her but then saw something out of the corner of her eye. Looking up, there were more grunts crawling down the cliff side but not for the duo. About four landed on the path and crept closer to their brother before sniffing and contemplating while the wounded beast squirmed on the ground trying to get away. Deciding enough was enough, all four pounced on it and began to devour it alive, panicked and unnatural screams coming from a creature that would never be able to fully die. Knowing this, Xena turned quickly to avoid spilling whatever might be in her guts.

"Huh, I forgot, you're a little goody two shoes without your memories. Too much like that damned blonde." Iva whined, stomping back up the path in annoyance. Without missing a beat, she was shoved and held against the wall with the sword at her neck.

"Leave her out of this. Or I'll make sure you end up like I did when I died." Xena growled, blue eyes growing darker. A bark of a laugh came from Iva.

"You can't even recall her name, what is she to you?"

"I don't know. Everything, nothing. I want to find out."

"You sure about that?"

"What?"

Iva shook her head and pushed Xena back. "You're going to regret everything about her. Then again, you'll need to know her. Alrighty then, let's continue, shall we?" And pushing the warrior princess with more strength than she was given credit for, left Xena behind. Xena snarled at this and wiped the blood off the blade with the end of the tunic she found herself wearing. She was getting tired of all her questions being put aside for later. She was almost curious if she would get straight away answers if she just rammed the sword through Iva, but she couldn't bring herself to that thought which was interesting. She felt as if there was a time that she would have done so without a moment's hesitation but now it almost seemed to sicken her. The fact that she had sliced that beast and could remember the feeling of the blade slicing into its flesh almost made her want to retch. Her weakness disgusted her and made her doubt whether she even did lose her blood innocence.

An archway was drawing near, and Xena could hear a booming voice come from the alcove. The bricks surrounding the depression in the cliff had chunks of bone sticking out and other body parts. She tried not to examine it too closely, as if afraid of seeing a familiar face. Part of the souls she thought she had redeemed was here, who knew who else was that she might know. Then again, would she even recognize them? Iva stopped at the archway and looked, allowing Xena a chance to catch up and peer into where the odd woman was staring. A large door with deformed face was sleeping, ignoring the angered yells muffled behind it. Iva huffed and began to tap her foot, waiting. Xena was about to say something but stopped when the blackened face suddenly moved and yawned.

"About time. Open up." Iva all but demanded. The door opened its eyes and blinked in surprised, perhaps more in the fact that someone was actually talking to it. They eyes weren't balls of flames or anything evil like Xena thought, but intelligent brown eyes that gazed upon them with interest. Something about the face looked so familiar but Xena didn't let it bother her. There would probably be a lot of things that would seem familiar.

"My, that's a rude awakening. I suppose once people enter Hell they leave their manners at the door." The face began to laugh at his own pun and Xena nearly went to try her idea of seeing if her sword in the face's mouth would act like a key in a lock. "Now, as rules and regulations go, what would be your purpose beyond me? You are aware you would be meeting with the Judge and his brothers and if you aren't in line to be reviewed they don't take kindly to being thrown off schedule."

"My purpose is to bring a special client in. Trust me, they won't mind setting a couple souls back to their waiting chair to get a hold of this one." Iva said with hint of impatience in her voice as she pointed to the woman behind her. . Xena watched her with amusement but noticed that the door was growing a bit wary. After looking them over some, he finally nodded. Or as much as a face on a door _could_ nod.

"Alright. It's your hell if you are being an ass for no reason…" And with that he opened his mouth wide. And wider, and wider until the other room was visible and they could walk through. Iva didn't hesitate to enter the door's mouth and go to the other side but Xena wasn't so sure. Taking a deep breath, she nearly ran the couple of steps to safety and looked back with wonder as their entrance disappeared. "Hey, pay attention, chicken wuss. Gods, is this what you would have been like if you were just a little farm girl?" Iva's voice snapped Xena back to the situation at hand and she looked ahead. And ahead was something she wasn't sure she liked. Before her were three magnificent marble thrones, with two lines forming up to the two outside judges and a smaller line of undecided souls being led to the middle judge. Each man was significantly larger than the average human, the size of a cyclops if Xena had to guess. They wore flowing purple robes but the ends were covered in dried blood and their hands looked horrendous and disgusting as they picked up each soul to question, inspect, and cast with their final say what the final destination of these wretched beings would be. It wasn't until Iva walked up to the middle line and began pushing aside the damned in the pits in order to reach the more dominant giant did the three judges stop and watch the two women approach.

"What is this that you do not wait your turn? Are you eager to be sentenced?" The judge on the right bellowed. His beard drooped off of his lap and against the floor as he leaned forward to see the intruders.

"I come bearing a soul who needs to be shown where she truly belongs, but cannot remember her crimes." Iva said innocently enough, and Xena became worried about what was about to happen. She raised her sword in a defensive manner, as if afraid that she would be plucked up by one of the judges and cast into the bowels of hell before recovering her memories. "Surely one of you can help her. She is, after all, Xena. The reason why you work so hard." At this, the three judges stopped moving all at once and immediately the souls also froze. This definitely did not look good, but before Xena could inch closer and question the peculiar woman about her motives, the judge on the left spoke up.

"I've waited a long time to see the one they called Xena. So many have said your name, have blamed you, and have damned you themselves. And here I thought she would be out of my grasp…" He went as if to grab her but did not lean forward enough in his throne. "This is indeed an issue. Not often do they come to Hell and not know why they are here…" Looking at his brothers, the judge nodded. "We do know how to remedy this…bring her here…"

Xena looked at the giant as if she could hardly believe he would be dumb enough to think she would willingly walk up to him. It wasn't necessarily a request, however, as a few grunts landed behind her and growled menacingly. Looking from the beasts to the open palm of the judge, she groaned out loud and jogged over until she was snatched up rather uncomfortably and lifted faster than her stomach liked. She was held close against the face of the judge, nearly wanting to puke from the smell of rotted flesh and other scents she couldn't precisely identify.

"I can see why you are in hell, with a face like that I doubt Aphrodite would have let you walk around the Elysian Fields." She said sharply, causing the judge to laugh and spittle to land on her face.

"Ah, Xena, let me introduce myself. I am Aeacus, and I shall be the first of returning your memories."

"Wait, the first?" She questioned, trying to wriggle out of his hand but failing miserably. The blade of the sword was beginning to cut into her leg but she wasn't about to say anything to him about it. It was Hell, she doubted he gave a damn about whether she was comfortable or not.

"Of course, the first. My child, you didn't murder only in the western world and you weren't born only in the western world." Aeacus chuckled again but this time had the decency to lower her a bit so she wasn't showered again. Oh if only they had baths that weren't made for torture then perhaps she wouldn't have minded as much.

"That…doesn't entirely make a lot of…sense." The warrior gasped, his grip becoming tighter as he laughed causing her ability to breath to become harder and the blade to cut deeper.

"It doesn't, but it will. Once you remember…" It was then he noticed something dripping from his hand and raising her near his nose to sniff he smiled. "Here, let me put you down so that we can begin."

Xena sighed in relief but regretted it since the other two judges began to laugh like hyenas and looking quickly to Iva she noticed the woman was nowhere in sight but didn't have a chance to fully look around since she was soon hurled down into a newly formed pit that just as easily disappeared the moment she passed through the hole. Several grunts pounced to where she should have landed and sniffed around, angered that they weren't able to devour fresh meat. Barking at each other and tempted to pass their aggression onto their brothers, they soon looked up when Aeacus let Xena's blood drip to them.

"Soon, my friends, will you consume the flesh of the Destroyer of Nations. Her punishment is near…"


	2. Chapter 2 The Reminder

All was silent in the temple: the flames were extinguished, the dogs and servants kept at bay, and even the insects that sang just outside the entrance had kept to themselves tonight. All save for the moon that peeked through the many holes that were progressively being repaired after an attack that left even the lead priest crippled and bleeding in some hideaway. The only being who dared to step foot had nothing to fear anymore, and it was this lack of emotion and the absolute nothingness of this situation that frightened him the most. To think, him, _frightened. _It was possible and yet unbelievable that such a feat could occur but after living in a world so chaotic and full of noise only to find oneself in a void was terrifying. Kicking away some rubble and picking up a torn standard, the once smooth texture of the cloth was caressed between calloused fingers. Eyes that could make a grown man buckle and run were soft and pensive, a realization of a weakness he never knew he had.

"Oh stop, this isn't becoming of you."

The calm nature was in an instant turned into a flame as a turn on the heel brought a fireball roaring from his palm and making a direct aim for the owner of the voice. However, she was no longer there and instead had appeared behind him and enveloped him with her thin arms.

"I'll say this again, my dear, stop. This was a necessary step and I explained everything that I would be doing from day one."

"You lying wench." He snarled, teeth exposed as if being possessed by a wolf, "Nothing has gone in my favor. Everything I want is being taken from me and all I see is your plan going ahead and leaving everyone else behind."

"Ares, all is fair in war. You knew the risks and to be quite frank I'm surprised you are letting her get to you like this."

"Get to me? She didn't do anything, she has never done anything to us-"

"She is the reason your brothers and sisters are dead or dying. Gods aren't supposed to die Ares and you know this! I'm trying to stop all of this from happening, I'm trying to get you to understand that without me you would be dead too. And now I'm having to clean up the mess of what you lot couldn't fix yourself." Iva snapped back, he caring demeanor suddenly turning its ugly head. "I asked for your alliance because I knew you have been successful before. I knew you could lead an army and win a war. Don't disappoint me like your sister."

Ares scoffed, tossing the standard aside and watching it fall to the ground. "Did you really expect Aphrodite to become some warrior? She isn't a fighter."

"But her skills could have been useful. And still can. I'll be paying her a visit soon because it won't be long until our kind becomes an endangered species, _God._ All over the world deities rise and fall whether it is from some lucky bastard or they just can't hold a following anymore. Don't be one of them and if I were you, I'd convince your sister that death doesn't necessary belong in her wardrobe." Iva ran her fingers along a dusty pillar and rubbed them together as if evaluating this place for cleanliness. "You really should get this place fixed."

"I apologize; aesthetics to please you wasn't precisely on my to-do list." Ares growled. "Every temple could fall and I could care less. Let's just finish this and get it over with."

"That's no way to keep your immortality." Iva chuckled, as if this was some sort of joke.

"I don't care anymore Iva. We were a dying race anyways and you know what, I doubt I could ever die even if I wanted to. Humans are such stupid beings, so selfish and aggressive that even if I wanted to rest I can't until they no longer exist. I may not be Ares anymore a thousand years down the road but I will still be around." Sitting down on a blackened boulder that was half sunk into the floor he combed his hair back with his fingers.

"Not if she keeps up her tirade. She will turn the world into chaos. And I doubt you want Gabrielle to suffer through that." A grin had spread on Iva's face but she knew she had struck a chord when he had faltered for just a fraction of a second. "That poor girl, I know you don't love her but you care enough for her. You would do _anything_ to-"

And with that Ares lunged at her but not in a human form. He had quickly turned without anymore hesitation into a wild dog with full intentions of tearing her throat out and lapping up her divine blood. But killing another god isn't so easy, especially when all his fangs were able to latch on to was summer air. Landing with full impact on the cracked tiled ground the head of the canine was thrown this way and that, looking for its intended target with a demonic bark and hungry belly.

"Don't disappoint me Ares. I don't care how hormonal you are, get your job done and done right. _She_ will no longer put me down." It was only a voice but he heard it and howled back, regretting that he wasn't fast enough to crush her skull in.

* * *

_A short chapter comparatively speaking __but I will be posting another one soon to make up for it. More or less to push the story along a little bit further and provide proof that yes, this is alive again haha._


	3. Chapter 3 The Beginning

Greece – 16 years earlier

"Xena, Xena look!" Bright blue eyes veered away from feeding the livestock to look in the direction of a young boy. "Father is coming home! He beat the savages!" At those words a warm swelling filled the young girl's heart and she quickly dropped the feed which was quickly pounced upon by the chickens at her feet as she ran towards her brother. Her father! She hadn't seen him in almost two years now, his face becoming a slight blur of what he looked like and a little of what she wanted him to look like. Fair black hair and piercing eyes like her, a strong jaw and thick muscles that would almost rival that of an ox. Or, so she thought since she was just knee high to a ram. True, a more realistic approach should have probably been reached now that she was almost seventeen winters old but when one envisions a figure they admire it is hard to shake even the most fairytale of images.

"Xena, _come on_"

"I'm COMING. Rush me anymore and I'll trip you." She growled, picking up the hem of her peplos and jumping clean over a fence. Her younger brother laughed; happiness nearly over spilling in his eyes as he raced her to the village center. From the distance they could see a band of warriors coming from the north, some on horses and others limping by foot. She hoped that her father was riding on his horse, a beautiful mare he had trained well that would be such a shame if she died in battle. Glancing over at her brother, Xena could see there was the same eagerness in his step. Though Lyceus was the further from the fighting spirit than a timid mouse, he held a respect for his father as well in protecting their and neighboring village from the savages that plagued the northern lands and threatened to sweep downward further into Greece. It wasn't any surprise then that the siblings raced to see who would be the first to gain their father's affection as he came home.

Reaching the crowd that had gathered, Xena thought she saw her older brother,Toris, weaving into the people from the blacksmith's shop and pushed even harder past the curious gathering. Nearly throwing grown men out of her way, she finally made it to the front only to be confused. These weren't the dashing men and boys that had gone to teach those invaders their lesson. These were scarred and travel weary fighters whose eyes had sunken into their face and had seemingly aged ten years. One of them still had a fresh wound that seemed to be disgustingly infected and the happiness that was in her chest soon turned to slight horror. She knew that man; he was Amyntas and was an annoying suitor of hers. How close to death he seemed that even his mother was terrified to touch him at first before rushing him to one of the stores to get supplies to try with futile attempts to heal him. Looking back at the band of warriors who were beginning to dismount, she searched and searched before Lyceus tapped her on the arm.

"Xena…isn't that Argo?" Looking back past several horses she saw the familiar mare, but beside her was someone she didn't recognize. "Where's father? That man shouldn't have Argo."

Stepping closer and carefully walking past the men as if touching them would curse her with their solemn, silent stares, she approached Argo and carefully inspected the man who promptly ignored her and was relieving some weight off the horse. His face was wrinkled and sun-burnt, thin hair was a shade of silver mixed with dust and dirt. But it was the eyes that caught her attention and holding on to Argo's harness she whispered, "What happened to you?"

He looked up at the teenager and said only one sentence before finishing his work.

"Go to your mother."

* * *

Xena and Lyceus sat silently out on the porch to the inn. Amyntas still had not left the store they had closed to keep him away from the public. After so much traveling on the road it was probably nice to rest in peace, though Xena didn't exactly think things were purely positive in there. A shrill scream suddenly erupted from the store's windows and Amyntas' mother rushed to close them, pausing a moment to look tearfully at the teens who sat staring with curiosity and sympathy at her. Gasping, she slammed the wooden shutters and from what Xena assumed they must have stuffed some fabric in the young lads mouth for his yells and yowls became muffled before slowly decreasing in volume and finally stopping. The two did not see anyone exit or enter the store for the rest of the evening. Lyceus looked up at her with a worried look on his face, brushing curled strands of blonde hair from his eyes.

"Xena," he whispered, as if afraid someone would storm out from the inn and whip them for talking, "do you think that was really dad?"

"It had to be. I'd know those eyes anywhere. And Argo knows better than to let anyone else ride her, even if dad died." She whispered back, thinking it stupid to talk in a low tone but refraining from saying anything as to avoid an argument.

"Then why does he look so…old?"

Xena shrugged, resting her chin on her knees and she hugged her legs closer to herself. "I don't know. I've heard battles age you but this seems a little extreme. He's fought before, and even the savages but…I don't know." She was frustrated at her own lack of answers, but anytime she tried to eavesdrop on the inn one of the town's elders would quickly kick her out with a box on the ears.

"What do you think happened to Amyntas?" Lyceus asked, a slight tremor in his voice. Xena had a pretty good guess of what happened. She remembered before her father went away that he often told stories of the savages. They would use poison sometimes and shoot darts to weaken their enemies before attacking. If she had a lucky guess, he had probably been nicked by something of similar poison and wouldn't die the most dignified of deaths. She wondered why they didn't just finish him off instead of having him make the torturous walk back home. They would always put wounded horses down if they were going to die a slow death, she didn't see why this couldn't be applied to people.

"He probably didn't clean a sword or spear wound correctly. They'll have him up and ready in no time. Though the longer he stays down the happier I'll be. I was sick and tired of all his incessant flirting." Xena said with a slight smile. "Remember how he would try to fight Nereus?"

Lyceus giggled and nodded. "Yeah, Nereus always thought he was big and bad and would try and steal the eggs you got. And then Amyntas would come and fight him and get his whole body thrown half way to Hades."

Before Xena could put in another anecdote, the inn door burst open and the warriors and elders stormed out. She saw her father leading them and stood up quickly and followed. A hand pushed her to the ground, the actual action caught Xena off-guard causing her to land rather ungracefully and into Lyceus. Looking up she saw a rather bulky fellow who sneered at them. Speak of a demon and he appears, for it was Nereus much to Xena's dissatisfaction and she was surprised he had not taken an arrow to the throat.

"If you weren't allowed in the inn don't follow us. Making stupid decisions might make me act irrationally." In a normal instance she might have jumped up and fought back, but Lyceus shook her arm and pointed at their father who watched and glared at them as if Nereus had every right to push them around. In her confusion she stayed silent and watched the group walk to the store Amyntas was in and kick the door down and enter. This time they heard a female scream and babble pleads of mercy. Looking at each other with alarm they both quickly stood up and ran to the back of the store, sneaking to the back entrance and slowly opening up the door to the storage room. Despite being in a rush they made sure to be extremely careful lest Nereus attempt to have his way with them. Creeping to a door that lead to the store's main room they leaned their ears close to the cracks and listened.

"Please, he's weak and sick and has walked all this way. Let him rest, please, why are you acting like this? He fought beside you!"

"He is a traitor! We brought him back so he could bear his pain and look at his family straight in the face as he admitted to what he had done!"

"He would never! Please, he would never! Amyntas is a good boy, there must be another explanation!" A slap was heard and a thud, and Xena was pretty sure that was someone's way of saying 'shut up'. Shuffling and steps were heard and muffled cries were began until it turned into pure screams. The cloth that muted Amyntas was probably removed now. Standing over Lyceus, Xena pressed her face against the door and tried to see through the crack as to what was happening. She saw Nereus with his hand over Amyntas' mouth and a hand on his bad shoulder which had been exposed. Pus and blood oozed and she realized a decaying smell was wafting around. Her father took a step closer and forcefully picked up the mother, forcing her to look at her son.

"Tell her and everyone else why we did this, Amyntas. Tell them." Xena's father growled, and Nereus removed his hand. He gripped the shoulder tighter and Amyntas screamed.

"I'm SORRY. I'M SORRY." The young man sobbed, thrashing and trying to get free but was too weak to fight as much as he needed to. He looked fearfully up at his childhood bully and then to the elders. "How was I supposed to know she was still alive? All I knew was that my father ran off with her and my mother, sister, and I were stuck here to fend for ourselves. It wasn't her fault though, it wasn't her FAUUULT." He yodeled, Nereus had accidentally gripped the shoulder harder than he intended to. Though the grin on his face threw out the accidental portion. Gasping for breath, Amyntas continued. "I found her captured with the savages so when we destroyed their scouting camp I freed her."

"Your sister?"

"Yes, my sister. I freed her and she didn't remember me and I don't blame her, she was really young then and the only reason why I know it's her is because of my mother and sister who were here. She looked just like them and the way she described father was just like how mother would. So I brought her back and we talked. I didn't know she was one of them, I didn't know, she tricked me, she tricked me! She's the one who stabbed me, she's the one who killed Nereus' bro-" A gargled scream pierced the air and caused Lyceus and Xena to back away and cover their ears.

"You haven't seen this woman in what…twelve years. But in a time of war you suddenly trusted her and told her things about camps and paths that that jeopardize now the safety of warriors who are going to fight the savages."

"Fight? We barely have enough men left and they seem to be constantly growing in number! Unless we get help from city-states or even warlords we are fucked!"

Xena barely maintained a gasp, but tugged fiercely on Lyceus' shoulder to leave. He gave her a slightly angry and curious look to which she mouthed, 'We need to leave before they do so they won't know we were here.' Nodding but not entirely happy he snuck out with her, but it before Xena heard the unsheathing of a blade.

* * *

Supper was silent. Their father wasn't present but everyone knew something wasn't right. Xena sat with her three brothers and mother, constantly exchanging glances with Lyceus before she heard her mother sigh. All four children looked up, not entirely sure what to say but could see the tired look their mother shared with them. It was as if her last hope was that their father would come home sane and happy and strong but now all they got was an angry phantom who acted as if he didn't even know who they were. On the way back Lyceus and Xena had brought Argo home and cleaned her. If she could Xena was pretty sure the horse would have sighed in relief at not having to wear a saddle and harness anymore. There was chaffing all along the side and it seemed as if their father completely neglected taking care of the kind mare. That was very unlike him. Finishing up their meal, the children began to clean but the slamming of the door caused everyone to pause. Their father stood there, examining each one of them before gruffly barking at them.

"Xena, stay here with your mother. You two, come on. I want to know how much of men you've decided to try and become while I've been gone." Looking at each other confused, they began to follow their father before their mother stood in front of them, pushing Xena's baby brother into her arms. Though he was three years old it still took a bit of attention to make sure she had a firm hold on him as he tried to squirm back to his mother. "Chariton, behave." Xena scolded, before turning her attention back to Toris and Lyceus.

"Atreus, stop! No, they won't become like you!" It must have been the fact that someone, especially a woman, had the audacity to talk back to him because Atreus paused for a moment.

"Won't become like me? You mean won't defend their homeland? Won't fight to keep their family safe? That's what I've been doing, what do you recommend they become?" He growled, towering over her and watching her tremble.

"Defend our homeland? You call them savages but the only reason you went to fight was because of the so called glory. You went to fight them because they were known as the unbeatable enemy known only defeat from Hercules and the gods know if he even exists. This town has been perfectly fine, or was perfectly fine, until you lot went to war and came back turning on each other like a pack of rabid dogs."

"I will train my boys to be warriors who will fight for Ares and bring honor to this wretched family. It wasn't until those savages defeated my army that I was thrown to live in this godforsaken village. My sons will not live a life here, they will live a life they were meant to have. The one I should have continued to have."

"Revenge then? This is all about revenge. You would have your flesh and blood die for revenge when it doesn't even concern them? They could live peaceful lives here, ones that will give them families and stability and you want death?" Their mom questioned in disbelief.

"Death in war brings eternal glory. Their life would have meant something than wasting away here."

"Fa-father, I don't want to fight." This seemed to be adding to the list of surprises, for Atreus looked over at his sons and realized it was Toris who stuttered this.

"What?"

"I-I don't want to. I'm an apprentice with the blacksmith and I'm starting to get really good. I don't want to go to war and never be able to do that again. Besides, why should I fight for you? You have hardly been here for us, why should I be there when you want me?" Xena could nearly see the fume and smoke beginning to leak from every orifice of Atreus' body. Handing Chariton to her mother, she quickly pulled the two back. She wouldn't be taken aback if her father went postal on them at this moment, and she wanted to be prepared for it. She wasn't going to have her family end up like Amyntas.

"Hardly been there? If it wasn't for me-"

"Amyntas would still be alive." Rounding about, Atreus glared but had to take a step back. Xena had come upon him with a sword extended and a rather angry glint in her eye. "I used to wish you coming home might mean we would be able to do what normal families around here do. Learn how to fight but for defense, learn a trade, work, and live. But ever since you brought us here because you couldn't find a way of living anywhere else you have had us out casted as a cursed family that brings nothing but misery to everyone who lives here. It wasn't until we came here that people starting leaving and fighting battles that weren't theirs to fight and we get stuck with the brunt of that hatred when you are gone killing off their fathers and sons. But you won't steal my brothers for the same thing."

It seemed like an eternity that silence reigned, but Atreus suddenly began to laugh. A type that began as a soft chuckle and then rapidly become a hearty thing. "You can barely wield that blade and you talk to me like that? I can see how your arms shake beneath the weight of a real sword. But fine. Let this family rot and be killed by the savages. Maybe then I will be free to roam like before."

"No one is stopping you from doing that now." Xena snapped, holding on to the sword with both hands to steady it. It was rather pathetic, and she knew if he wanted to this sword would be out of her hand and into her heart if her father so desired it.

Atreus gave a snort and flicked his head. "May Ares give you a swift death then, be careful you do not end up like Amyntas." And with that he took one last look at his feeble attempt to start a family and never looked back.

* * *

_Yes, a working computer means a chapter. Though with school projects and a new job I can pretty much say I'll probably be working on a new chapter soon as well to be my reliever from things. Ah, well, hope you enjoyed!_


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